I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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