That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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