He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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