so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
