I wish my penis had an off switch
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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