White coat. Heels.
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
