in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
