Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
