tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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