dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
