Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
