am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
