I swear she didn't look like that last week.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
