i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
