So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
