Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
