I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
