some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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