we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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