Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
