erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
