Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
