somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
