I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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