she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
