party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
