There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
