sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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