Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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