In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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