After last night, I could never be a politician.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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