The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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