we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize