Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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