Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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