ugly people sure do ruin things
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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