'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
