And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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