This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
