okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize