some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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