well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
