Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
