Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
