I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
