Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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