could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
