You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
