Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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