I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
