Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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