Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
