she takes plan B like it's going out of style
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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