So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
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