Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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