FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
