Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
my being single is dangerous.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
