I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
