If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize